As Julia's World Turns: Episode 1

This is possibly the BEST soap opera of them all. Seriously.  She’s got more drama in her beautiful 7 year old little head of hers than any CBS writer could possibly create. Free time to think, such as in the car, gives her time to create dramatic hypothetical situations in her mind. Most of the time, these situations can, and do, lead to a full meltdown.

Example:  A couple weeks ago, she was brushing/pulling-the-crap-out-of my hair (ahem). I was sick with the flu. She was quietly yanking away. Suddenly, she starts to cry. I ask what’s wrong. I probably should ignore these things, but strangely enough, I thoroughly enjoy how her mind works. She then cries and says that she doesn’t want to die with her eyes closed. WTH??? I, of course, ask why she’s saying that. She says, “Because if I die with my eyes closed, then my spirit won’t be able to find its way to heaven.” She’s got a point. So I consoled her and convinced her that her spirit will find its way just fine.

These types of stories happen all the time. And need to be documented. So here we go….

Washing your mouth out with soap--

On our way home from school today, this was our conversation:

Julia: “Mom, would you ever wash our mouths out with soap?”

Me:  “I might.”

Julia: “WHAT! MOM, you can’t do that to us!”

Me: “Well, if you say bad words, I just might.”

Julia: “MOM, THAT’S POISON!”

Me: “Well, don’t say bad words.”

Julia: “And besides, if you did that then we would be brainwashed!”

Me: “Huh? How would you be brainwashed?”

Julia: “Because, a little piece of soap could break off and go all the way up to your brain and just wash it all over.”

Awesome. Just awesome! After lots of secret laughter between Jay and I, the conversation turned towards curse words and which ones would give a soap-in-the-mouth sentence.  We all agreed that the “N” word would definitely be one of them. Discussion of the horrible disgusting “N” word began a back-and-forth on African Americans and people’s skin color. Last school year, Julia told a little boy in her class that he needed to stop going to the tanning bed so much so that his skin could be the color of hers. OMG…I was mortified. So we then had yet another discussion on how God made everyone different and it wasn’t tanning beds that caused his skin to be darker than hers.

Many coats--

Apparently, I didn’t quite clarify the issue.

Julia: “Mom, I know why some people have brown skin.”

Me: “Oh yeah, why’s that.”

Julia:  “Because Jesus just put more coats of light skin on them.”

Me: (very confused) “How would more coats of light skin make anyone’s skin darker?”

Julia: “Well, it’s just like my fingernail polish… the more coats you put, the darker it gets.”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! They take our words so literally sometimes. I did tell her that about nail polish, so I had to explain that that theory only applies to paint, not skin.

This girl's mind never stops. I love her so much :)

To be continued……..